Week 1 (Challenge 2) - 139.4

139.4

Ya, no big deal.

Okay, huge deal.

So life got really intense the past few months and I haven’t been able to stay accountable online. But as you can see, I have been staying on track in real life.

So I got down to about 138 for my friend’s wedding. I honestly don’t think I have ever looked so good in my life. But once the wedding was over, I was tired. I kept working out but stopped watching my diet. I’m pretty happy though. It has been about four months and I have maintained my weight loss.  I work out with a trainer doing resistance and strength training pretty consistently, twice a week. My biggest problem right now is watching my diet while in school and getting some more cardio in my regimen.

So here is my challenge. My birthday is in exactly a month. By my birthday I want to lose ten pounds and reach a weight of 128. That’s right, I’m aiming for the dreamy 120’s!

Now this may sound like a perfectly attainable goal but my body has pretty much hit a major plateau at this point. Every pound I lose is going to be just as hard as losing 10 pounds back when I was heavier.  Argggghhh!

At least I know I can do this! I just need to put my best foot forward and START.  So let’s see if I can start the challenge right by losing two pounds this week. I’m not going to lie. I’ m absolutely petrified. It is going to be a lot of work and I am going to have to work around a lot of other aspects in my life. My birthday is the week before finals and honestly school is usually my #1 priority. However, my health should be my #1 priority.  

Leggo. 

MIA

I need to start blogging again. It has been too long. 

Week 5 - 147.5

147.5

Yay. Like really yay, but not really.

Except for the part where I was sick in bed all week with a sinus infection L

So when I’m sick I tend to lose a couple of pounds as I generally will lose my appetite. Believe it or not, this was probably the first time that I was sick in bed, could barely breathe, and all I wanted to do was eat (okay maybe not the first time, but it has been a while).

I had quite an appetite and though eating was physically difficult, I managed to scarf down a few fatty soup to soothe my throat and carbs to quiet my rumbling belly. This also ensured that I met my minimum calorie requirement each day.  I also tried to drink as much water as I could but I’m pretty sure I’m still a tad bit dehydrated. Staying hydrated while sick was not an easy task I tell ya.

Unfortunately, being sick in bed also means that I have not been to the gym in a week. Even though I feel better, my breathing is still a tad bit labored and my muscles are still a bit achy. This also means that part of my weight loss might be muscle loss, which totally sucks.

And so now you might understand what I mean by “yay, but not really.” I may have lost some weight this week, but there is a very good chance that it is just some water weight. I can only stay on track with my program and hope that I will continue losing weight.

Now for the acknowledgements. Since my first post on June 15^th, I have lost approximately 10.5 pounds.

ONE MONTH, 10 POUNDS!

One month, down 5% bodyfat according to my dinky and most probably inaccurate scale.

According to my calculations, which are based upon the body fat percentages my scale told me I was at on June 15 and today July 13, 10 of the 10.5 pounds I have lost are actual pure fat. I’m assuming that the other .5 is linked to water loss and hopefully not and muscle loss. Then again, I am not very confident in my math skills, so it is possible that the calculations are incorrect.

Let me tell you, it is scary how much of a difference 10 pounds can make. I have always had the goal of losing “just ten pounds.” Even at 210lbs, I would tell myself “just ten”. Even now I tell myself, “just ten.”

Its funny how a 10lb loss eventually turned into a 62.5lb one. 

I used to think losing 80lbs would be impossible and as I was doomed to be obese and I might as well learn to love my body the way I was. And I did. I loved myself to death, literally. I didn’t see my weight as a problem until I actually lost some weight and realized that under all that fat…there was more fat!

This past week I got so many compliments. Even people who see me regularly couldn’t help but comment on how much thinner I look.

My clothes look so much better on me, my skin is glowing and all these neurotransmitters lingering around in my synapses are keeping me smiling.

Oh, and my hipbones are kinda freaking me out. I never realized how sharp they are!

So I lost ten pounds. Whenever I reach my “just ten” goal I like to reward myself with something significant.  Not as big or as expensive as a trip to Europe per se, but something  which means more to be than a mani- pedi . I also like to choose a reward which gets me closer to my goals of being healthy and staying healthy. This means no chocolate soufflés or pig out sessions. Food should not be used as a reward; you are not a dog!

I usually plateau in the 140’s (specifically at 148, 145 and 142). Last year, after working my butt of for months, I got down to 148 by the end of the summer. Then, in the last week of August, I conveniently got my wisdom teeth pulled out and basically starved myself down to 142. Of course, losing weight in such an unhealthy manner had negative consequences. After almost fainting during a midterm, I eventually gave up watching what I ate. I reverted to old eating habits and hardly ever hit the gym.  I was a bit too stressed and overly confident in my weight loss  to spend some time figuring out how to balance my  stressful life with my new lifestyle choices.

So yah, I don’t weigh 142 pounds anymore and the last time I was there without starving myself was about 6 years ago (and even then I had lost 10 pounds for my brother’s bar mitzvah). The last time I was near my “dream/goal weight” of 125 I was probably in the 5^th or 6^th grade.

Dang, I’m scared. Staying in the high 140’s will be difficult enough. Just thinking about hitting “140” itself on the scale makes me break out into a cold sweat.

Of course, 158 and 140 are just numbers. In the end of the day, what truly matters is how I feel. Honestly, though I would like to lose a few pounds in order to lower by BMI from “overweight” to “healthy/ normal” I don’t mind the number too much.

I like the way I look. I truly believe that curves are hotter than looking like a clothing hanger. I like my curves and I don’t want to reduce them too much. On the other hand, like the typical “apple” body type, I still have way too much fat in my  torso/ abdomen area.  This type of fat is linked to higher incidence of heart disease.  I need to lose this belly for the sake of my health and sanity!!!

According my research and experience, the best way to lose belly fat is to simply lose weight. Of course, upon losing the weight, it is highly unlikely that you will find rock hard six-pack abs underneath all that flab. From my experience, observations and research, I have come to realize that by doing tons of cardio and limiting your calories you will probably end up thinner, but just as flabby. Loose, excess skin is not something you necessarily want to live with. Last summer, I did some weight training and it made all the difference. Trust me people, before you walk in to the surgery room for lipo or a tummy tuck (not that there aren’t circumstances where that might be appropriate- but more as a last resort), try picking up a pair of dumbbells.  

So, I have lost ten pounds, need to lose at least 7.5 more in the next four weeks, and would like to tone up and build some abs.

Sounds like hiring a personal trainer will be the perfect reward for me. Last year I had one for a few weeks and though my weight on the scale remained the same, the difference was unbelievable. My clothes got looser, my body was toned, and I looked better at that toned 151 than the starvation induced 142 I got down to a month after I stopped training.

Training is pricey, (though I am getting a pretty good deal). but it is worth it as it  will help reinforce the weight I have already lost and help propel me down the path to my ultimate weight loss goals.  

The only problem is that last time when I was training, my appetite went out of control so I gotta figure that out. Also, whenever I start a new exercise regimen, I often don’t lose weight in the beginning. Perhaps this is because I am gaining muscle or overcompensating on the calories as my appetite increases due to the training.

I just hope that next week I will be able to look at the scale with pride no matter if the number goes up or down. I will only be happy knowing I tried my best, so here goes nothing.

J

Week 4 - 151

151!

Right on track.

Okay so truth. Believe it or not, last week I got down to 148. I had a feeling it wouldn’t last very long so I didn’t post it up. I figured that kind of rapid weight loss is bound to be a result of rapid water loss and it seems that my hypothesis was probably correct.

Oh and the cheese fries, nachos, sweet and sour chicken, pint of Haagen Daaz, fudge covered frozen yogurt, and loaf of homemade white bread might have and something to do with the weight regain as well.

I was great the first two weeks. I watched every single calorie, logged in overtime at the gym, and just had a great mindset. Then I got tired, bored and fell into a bit of a funk this week. I was still working out, but not as intensely. Oh and I may have gone over my calorie limit a little.

This happens a lot to me. In the past I used to let this kind of setback get me down. I would just take myself off the healthy program that I was on and revert to my old habits. However the new me has learned to expect some regression in the third week. Seriously, I prepare for it. I knew this was coming, hence the extra hours at the gym the week before. But now the week of diet “vacation” is over.

Though I hope that one day I will not feel a need to revert to my old habits as often as I do now, I acknowledge my weaknesses and cope. I will not allow my weakness to convince me that I lack strength. I CAN DO THIS!

So time to get back on track. The wedding is a little bit more than a month away and I still have 11 pounds to lose.

Who’s with me?

Week 1 - 158

So it’s 12:52 AM and I feel possessed. My entire life I have avoided the doctor’s office, the DMV, dating profiles all because I live in fear of the question “So, how much do you weigh?” And now, like the lunatic that I am, I’m announcing it to the world.

I currently weigh 158 pounds.

Now, 158 is nowhere near the 210 I used to see pop up on the scale, and it’s not quite the 142 I got down to by the end of last Summer. 

So, why now?

Well, due to the stress of last semester, I put on quite a bit of weight. My meals were nutritionally unbalanced (my idea of a balanced diet is a chocolate chip cookie in each hand), my cardio regimen flew out the window and I discovered Costco sized jars of Nutella. 

But it’s all good, right? I kept telling myself that summer would come and I would drop the weight. And then summer came. And I tried. I worked out, I freakin weighed my food and logged in all pertinent nutritional vales into an online food journal.

Sounds good, right? Except I’ve been on vacation for a month now and I’ve only managed to lose about four pounds.  Ok, I’m not gonna lie, I haven’t been perfect and four pounds is definitely progress, but when you are aiming for a two pound progress per week, four pounds in four weeks can be pretty frustrating.

SO, WHY NOW???

Last year, when I lost a significant amount of weight, around 50 pounds (for a grand total of 68 pounds), it was pretty easy to find motivation. Yah, yah, yah, I know what you’re thinking, “you gotta do it for you”. Puhleeeeeeeezzzzzzz, sure, you gotta do it for you, to improve your health and your overall quality of life, but if you ask people who have lost a significant amount of weight, many of them did not start of doing it for themselves.

They did it because they hated being the one who always offered to take the group photo instead of having their picture taken because they couldn’t bear to see it online or printed out later on.

They did it because they hated the stigma that comes with being heavy; the assumption that a weight problem is a result of laziness.

They did it because, ironically, even though they were bigger than everyone else in the room, they still felt or wished to be invisible.

They did it because of that jerk, coworker, family member, friend, fellow human being who made that insensitive comment.

They did it because they hated the look they got in boutiques and clothing shops. The one that asks you to leave the store and head over to the plus size shop, just with a cursory glance.

And then, finally, they did it for themselves.

My first chunk of weight loss was to shut everyone up. It was also motivated by all the reasons listed above. But those last few pounds? I lost those to prove to myself that I am strong, that I’m not lazy. That I’m worth it

And now I know that I am strong. I am ambitious and driven. I am worth it.

Now, this time, it’s for me. I think.

My dream weight is 125. I call this my dream weight, because until very recently I never thought I could get below 150, let alone the 120’s.

Honestly, I think would be perfectly happy to be around 135 as this is a perfectly normal and healthy weight for my height.

So here’s the plan. My best friend’s wedding is in mid-August and I want to walk down that aisle as a bridesmaid with confidence.

So by mid-August, which is in exactly 2 months, I want to be around 140 lbs.  18 pounds in 2 months seems like a practical, safe, achievable, yet challenging goal. This ain’t gonna come easy.

I will, G-d willing, keep counting my calories, work out at least 3 times a week, and bring my “A game”.

So why announce my weight?

Because the most important thing I have learned throughout my journey is that size DOES matter, but weight does not. It’s all about how you perceive yourself and how big you feel.  My weight, whether 150 or 250 is just a number.   A number that I apparently feel free yelling from the cyber rooftops. A number that I hope will never define me, but rather serve as a general guideline for a healthy life

So why make this blog now?

Honestly? I’m tired. I’m tired of dieting, tired of talking about dieting, tired of being harassed by people who think I’m taking extreme measures, but more importantly, I’m tired of looking up by BMI and still being classified as “overweight”.

This blog is meant to serve as a tool to keep me accountable, as I’ll be less likely to forgo my healthy eating/ fitness plan if I know I have to report back about my progress at least once a week. It is also a place where I can vent about my love for cheese fries and my irritation with the guys who wear too much cologne at the gym.

Honestly, I’m not sure if anyone will ever even read this blog, or if I even want anyone to know about it. However, if you ever find yourself reading this, or future posts, feels free to comment  (anonymously or not), ask questions, and get involved.